September 12, 2009
SPONSORSHIP IS NOW CLOSED...
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Ladies and Gentlemen; please lower your hoodies and raise your bottles of blue WKD for those who selflessly gave of their money to enable us to drive the car back to the UK to be auctioned at the Performing Rights Society charitable auction. Any change will be donated to the Nordoff Robbins Music Therapy charity. Thank you from the three of us... and both of the charities concerned.
Just in case you might be interested in who these mysterious benefactors are, and what they do, here's a list of links. Just click on the link to visit their website. Easy as that.
www.bellequipment.com/
www.premiermuzik.com/
www.instinctam.com
www.judgeday.co.uk/
www.because.tv/
www.counterp.com/
www.feltmusic.com/
www.atmospheriques.com
www.ringspun.co.uk/
Ladies and Gentlemen; please lower your hoodies and raise your bottles of blue WKD for those who selflessly gave of their money to enable us to drive the car back to the UK to be auctioned at the Performing Rights Society charitable auction. Any change will be donated to the Nordoff Robbins Music Therapy charity. Thank you from the three of us... and both of the charities concerned.
Just in case you might be interested in who these mysterious benefactors are, and what they do, here's a list of links. Just click on the link to visit their website. Easy as that.
www.bellequipment.com/
www.premiermuzik.com/
www.instinctam.com
www.judgeday.co.uk/
www.because.tv/
www.counterp.com/
www.feltmusic.com/
www.atmospheriques.com
www.ringspun.co.uk/
AND NOW, IN BOLLARDVISION! WTF S2N ON HDV OMG...
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Yes, here he is: Mr Ben Please and his many video cameras. If and when you see the greatest road movie ever made; in the cinema or on the telly, on DVD, VHS, Betamax, U-Matic, YouTube, or on your phone or videopod i-watch and you think that the camerawork is a bag of shite - this is the man responsible. Blame him. Write him letters and postcards. E-mail him. Call him; at home and on his mobile...
Yes, here he is: Mr Ben Please and his many video cameras. If and when you see the greatest road movie ever made; in the cinema or on the telly, on DVD, VHS, Betamax, U-Matic, YouTube, or on your phone or videopod i-watch and you think that the camerawork is a bag of shite - this is the man responsible. Blame him. Write him letters and postcards. E-mail him. Call him; at home and on his mobile...
AND THEN THERE WERE THREE...
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Quick on the heels of The Wild One Ton Rangers' divorce announcement, and the news that their team may not make the starting grid, a second of our five teams throws in the bar towel. Dude & Catastrophe, the barmen from Bradford, have decided that they have neither the courage, nor the determination, to compete. With less than a week to go The Bollards remain determined and are currently seeking to purchase water pistols.
Quick on the heels of The Wild One Ton Rangers' divorce announcement, and the news that their team may not make the starting grid, a second of our five teams throws in the bar towel. Dude & Catastrophe, the barmen from Bradford, have decided that they have neither the courage, nor the determination, to compete. With less than a week to go The Bollards remain determined and are currently seeking to purchase water pistols.
HANSEL AND GRETEL IN SHOCK DIVORCE...
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In the cut and thrust world of international banger rallying the emotional pressures can take their toll. Hansel and Gretel, after weeks of mental and financial turmoil, announced their divorce this morning. "... I am not spending another night with that animal!" said Gretel. Hansel was unavailable for comment, however a spokesman for his family told us that Hansel would still like to make the rally. "...but unless Hansel can find another driving partner, and a banger, in the next two days it is unlikely that he will make the start line in Calais." he said.
In the cut and thrust world of international banger rallying the emotional pressures can take their toll. Hansel and Gretel, after weeks of mental and financial turmoil, announced their divorce this morning. "... I am not spending another night with that animal!" said Gretel. Hansel was unavailable for comment, however a spokesman for his family told us that Hansel would still like to make the rally. "...but unless Hansel can find another driving partner, and a banger, in the next two days it is unlikely that he will make the start line in Calais." he said.
September 11, 2009
September 10, 2009
September 09, 2009
PREPARATIONS BEGIN FOR RIGOROUS TRAINING REGIME...
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On Sunday September 13th at 1300h our star long-distance rally driver Simsie Meyer will jet into Manchester International Airport to begin an intense four-day acclimatization training programme prior to registering for Staples to Naples in Calais on the Thursday evening. In preparation for her arrival The Bollards have invested in a lot of equipment to facilitate a series of purpose designed exercises including, but not limited to, drinking copious amounts of red wine and consuming cheese (for the French leg), chocolate (for Switzerland) and olives (for Italy). Here is a small selection of the comestible investment designed to give Ms Meyer a physiological, mental and emotional head start:
On Sunday September 13th at 1300h our star long-distance rally driver Simsie Meyer will jet into Manchester International Airport to begin an intense four-day acclimatization training programme prior to registering for Staples to Naples in Calais on the Thursday evening. In preparation for her arrival The Bollards have invested in a lot of equipment to facilitate a series of purpose designed exercises including, but not limited to, drinking copious amounts of red wine and consuming cheese (for the French leg), chocolate (for Switzerland) and olives (for Italy). Here is a small selection of the comestible investment designed to give Ms Meyer a physiological, mental and emotional head start:
PINK CAR SEAT COVERS A DOUBLE SUCCESS...
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In keeping with European legislation we are now equipped with spare bulbs, a warning triangle, a high visibility vest, a first aid kit and a torch. We are also equipped with dual purpose pink furry seat covers that can be used to avoid hypothermia should we get snowed in whilst traversing the Alps.
In keeping with European legislation we are now equipped with spare bulbs, a warning triangle, a high visibility vest, a first aid kit and a torch. We are also equipped with dual purpose pink furry seat covers that can be used to avoid hypothermia should we get snowed in whilst traversing the Alps.
THE ANTI-FUN MINISTRY ARE FOILED....
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The insurance cover note arrives in the morning post and so, armed with a file of paperwork, The G engages the Post Office frought with apprehension. 10 minutes later we have us a little round purple bit of paper to stick in the window. We are legal! Taxed for 6 months. Then it's off the Royal Mail collection centre to pick up a few more graphics including our Shaz and Dave windscreen banner. Finally we drop off the sponsors' logos with Signmeister Steve Pope at Trafford Signs to get the vinyl cut.
The insurance cover note arrives in the morning post and so, armed with a file of paperwork, The G engages the Post Office frought with apprehension. 10 minutes later we have us a little round purple bit of paper to stick in the window. We are legal! Taxed for 6 months. Then it's off the Royal Mail collection centre to pick up a few more graphics including our Shaz and Dave windscreen banner. Finally we drop off the sponsors' logos with Signmeister Steve Pope at Trafford Signs to get the vinyl cut.
September 08, 2009
DEAR DIARY...
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We decided, after last weekend's faux leopard skin door panelling and pink furry dice hanging efforts, that we should try to do some shit for charity. Tho' fun is our entire purpose Robbit pointed out that others might be interested in backing our mission...
So, over the past week, we have texted each other about how we might make some wedge for a charity (unlike our friends U Sane Bolt who are simply overjoyed to have found a B-reg VW Golf and are now trying to make it go forwards... or Waldorf and Stadler who think that charity should begin at home... and stay there).
Anyway, the result is that we've decided that we will donate any proceeds from the sale of "sticker-space" to the Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Foundation (not to be confused with Baskin Robbins who dedicate themselves to the commercial manufacture of ice cream.)
Why them?... We have no bloody idea... except that our car is themed around an album cover and we happen to think that music is a universal language, so fuck it... Nordoff-Robbins got the vote. I'm sure that there are a million other worthy charities but Nordoff-Robbins is the one we chose. End of Report.... until Robbit discovers that the PRS are having an auction for charity... and offers our car as a "lot"!.
Great! Nice one!.... so now we have to drive our banger back again!
Anyway Robbit goes seeking "sponsors"...one thing leads to another and now we're in the Manchester Evening News and there's a television interview planned with Channel M and... and...
"Fun" is, obviously, quite hard to find these days...
Anyway, to keep the 805 exclusive range of designer clothing moving along, G was able to get Simsie a wanging pink embroidered hat made by a nice German bloke with a machine in the back of his van and, most importantly, Tez has come up with the pink furry seat covers! Check it out; the latest addition in the 805 range of übercool clothing...
Later today we engage the challenges of the insurance industry...
We decided, after last weekend's faux leopard skin door panelling and pink furry dice hanging efforts, that we should try to do some shit for charity. Tho' fun is our entire purpose Robbit pointed out that others might be interested in backing our mission...
So, over the past week, we have texted each other about how we might make some wedge for a charity (unlike our friends U Sane Bolt who are simply overjoyed to have found a B-reg VW Golf and are now trying to make it go forwards... or Waldorf and Stadler who think that charity should begin at home... and stay there).
Anyway, the result is that we've decided that we will donate any proceeds from the sale of "sticker-space" to the Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Foundation (not to be confused with Baskin Robbins who dedicate themselves to the commercial manufacture of ice cream.)
Why them?... We have no bloody idea... except that our car is themed around an album cover and we happen to think that music is a universal language, so fuck it... Nordoff-Robbins got the vote. I'm sure that there are a million other worthy charities but Nordoff-Robbins is the one we chose. End of Report.... until Robbit discovers that the PRS are having an auction for charity... and offers our car as a "lot"!.
Great! Nice one!.... so now we have to drive our banger back again!
Anyway Robbit goes seeking "sponsors"...one thing leads to another and now we're in the Manchester Evening News and there's a television interview planned with Channel M and... and...
"Fun" is, obviously, quite hard to find these days...
Anyway, to keep the 805 exclusive range of designer clothing moving along, G was able to get Simsie a wanging pink embroidered hat made by a nice German bloke with a machine in the back of his van and, most importantly, Tez has come up with the pink furry seat covers! Check it out; the latest addition in the 805 range of übercool clothing...
Later today we engage the challenges of the insurance industry...
September 01, 2009
LET'S GET SERIOUS...
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So now that the fun bit is over we need to get onto the more grown up issues like insurance and tax and all that boring stuff... the tax on the car runs out today! Pffft!
So now that the fun bit is over we need to get onto the more grown up issues like insurance and tax and all that boring stuff... the tax on the car runs out today! Pffft!
ROCK ON ROME...
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The team's weekend is over and Robbit's made it home in one piece. There's still a few bits and pieces to do on the car; most of them electrical. We have the inverter working with a 230V AC plug socket for our laptops and we have five available cigarette lighter sockets to charge i-pods, i-trips, phones, the Garmin GPS, the sound-to-light-converting plastic ball chandelier thingy on the back shelf and the impressive, but very small, blue neon strip that will be as useless as a chocolate fire guard during the daylight hours that we'll be driving... but hey, at least we'll know we have the power!
We've yet to drill and wire in the solar powered front skirt lighting... and the furry pink seat covers from BJ's Auto Spares (how appropriate) arrive on Tuesday. Oh, and we need to get the wheels balanced and the tracking sorted out; but there's time enough for that.
In the meantime, here's a brief overview of our pimping weekend when out third team member, Simsie, was sorely missed:
The team's weekend is over and Robbit's made it home in one piece. There's still a few bits and pieces to do on the car; most of them electrical. We have the inverter working with a 230V AC plug socket for our laptops and we have five available cigarette lighter sockets to charge i-pods, i-trips, phones, the Garmin GPS, the sound-to-light-converting plastic ball chandelier thingy on the back shelf and the impressive, but very small, blue neon strip that will be as useless as a chocolate fire guard during the daylight hours that we'll be driving... but hey, at least we'll know we have the power!
We've yet to drill and wire in the solar powered front skirt lighting... and the furry pink seat covers from BJ's Auto Spares (how appropriate) arrive on Tuesday. Oh, and we need to get the wheels balanced and the tracking sorted out; but there's time enough for that.
In the meantime, here's a brief overview of our pimping weekend when out third team member, Simsie, was sorely missed:
August 31, 2009
August 30, 2009
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST...
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Robbit and the G set about transforming the interior into a thing of tartish magnificence.....
Robbit and the G set about transforming the interior into a thing of tartish magnificence.....
August 29, 2009
August 28, 2009
U SANE BOLT EXPAND THEIR SEARCH...
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U Sane Bolt have decided to widen their search for wheels and are moving up to Scotland this weekend. In the meantime Team Captain Alves finds a car that he thinks is just the ticket, but sadly cannot afford the spoiler:
U Sane Bolt have decided to widen their search for wheels and are moving up to Scotland this weekend. In the meantime Team Captain Alves finds a car that he thinks is just the ticket, but sadly cannot afford the spoiler:
THE MOVIE POSTER
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Yes folks, for the past few days all of the unfolding action has been filmed in High Definition! Shot by the esteemed Irish cinematographer Sean "take tirty tree" Corcoran, here's the first taste of what is bound to become the hard car porno movie of the year:
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Yes folks, for the past few days all of the unfolding action has been filmed in High Definition! Shot by the esteemed Irish cinematographer Sean "take tirty tree" Corcoran, here's the first taste of what is bound to become the hard car porno movie of the year:
.jpg)
T-19 AND WE HAVE US THE GRAPHICS....
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19 days to go and, as promised, the boys at Trafford Signs deliver our graphics on time, personally... as well as supplying us with some masking tape, an applicator and a crash course in sticking vinyl onto cars. Tomorrow our leading driver, Robbit, arrives by train for a long weekend of pimping the ride.... the weather, however, could pose a problem.
19 days to go and, as promised, the boys at Trafford Signs deliver our graphics on time, personally... as well as supplying us with some masking tape, an applicator and a crash course in sticking vinyl onto cars. Tomorrow our leading driver, Robbit, arrives by train for a long weekend of pimping the ride.... the weather, however, could pose a problem.
August 27, 2009
T -20 & COUNTING....
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Now all we gotta do is find labial pink fluffy seat covers....
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Tomorrow we pick up the car!
Now all we gotta do is find labial pink fluffy seat covers....
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Tomorrow we pick up the car!
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